I’ve been thinking this a lot lately. I’ve read it many times recently, in many forms, from many voices. Of course, I can’t remember any of these blogs or articles, so I assume it’s in my obsession read “Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less”, or maybe even in “#Girlboss”.
I do remember this:
God bless Mindy Kaling. “I have a personality defect where I refuse to be seen as the underdog.” I mean, this is its own type of not caring – not caring about the negative speak she was/is undoubtedly bombarded with in the ‘wood. Fake it till you make it can really work. I also have an American Express card (wink).
It’s all over that really successful people don’t need approval. They like it as much as anyone, but they don’t crave it and think about it. They don’t need it. They crave something else, and their ideas just pour out of them. They crave creation, maybe, or the realization of a dream or vision. Because they just have to.
I had a realization lately that when I allow myself to dislike someone (something I’ve done infrequently in life), especially when it comes to actually disliking someone I’m involved with and ending an association, I’m overcome with the many layers of my dislike and the oppression I suffered in this person’s presence after the fact. Everything crystallizes in how much I disagree with the other person’s worldview and the ways I feel disrespected or affronted. It’s the power of no, so to speak, that provides this clarity. Of course, this action isn’t productive on my part, but it does show me a flood of what I held back before I said no, and encourages me to say no sooner next time.
I think then, if I’d let my ideas out all the time instead of wanting them to be approved, just like I wanted to be someone everyone liked (and therefore I had to like everyone), maybe my ideas, given their freedom, would have just gotten better and better and bigger. And they still can. The thing is, I always knew many of my views and ideas wouldn’t be liked – especially by my family. It took me years to get over that. Now I’m working on the rest. I think being liked by everyone must actually be more complicated.
So I’m practicing not caring… really hard.
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